Women find supportive environment in Mormon community

3/21/2008The presidential primary season has brought more attention to Mormons because of former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney's run for the Republican nomination.

PBS recently aired a four-hour television series on the history of Mormons. And many colleges, including Harvard University, are now offering classes in their religious studies departments focusing on the Mormons who are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS).

Mormons are the fastest growing religious population in the world. While they only makes up 1.7 percent of the American adult population, according to the Pew Research Center (PRC), they have 13 million members worldwide. Estimates are that they are growing in population by one million members every three years.

The public's interest is there and with more than half of the Mormon population comprised of women and their numbers rising, many people are wondering what the draw is to this religion with such a checkered past, especially for women.

Mormon's have a well-know history of polygamy. Even though it was outlawed in their church over a century ago, it is a stigma that sticks with them. Women are also forbidden from attaining priesthood within the church. That position is reserved for men only.

Kent Ponder, a lifelong Mormon, worries that Mormon women are more prone to depression because of the religion's stance on women. He outlines the church's stance on women in what he calls "three basic realities."

One: Females are part of a one size fits all mentality which means that they must be the perfect wife, mother, churchgoer, friend and community representative.

Two: They must obey males from birth to death.

Three: They lack control of their own life choices. Everything is dictated to them by the church or by the men in the lives.

"Some LDS women feel that they are in small, stifling or suffocating mental cages, with no real control and no way out - ever," Ponder said.

Lisa Mendenhall, a 28-year-old lifelong Mormon and mother with her fourth child on the way, feels like "this time we live in gives us plenty of pressure" to be the ideal woman. She credits a male, her husband, with encouraging her to be the kind of woman she wants to be, "not what someone else" is telling her to be.

Alexandra Young, a 23-year-old Mormon wife and mother of two, converted to Mormonism while a teenager. Born a Catholic, she says that what initially drew her to the LDS church was its family atmosphere.

"I saw what was missing from the Catholic church. The Mormon church as a whole seemed to actually practice what they preached in their lives daily."

Over half of the American population admits to not knowing much about the Mormon church, the PRC reported.

When asked about Mormonism the first thoughts that came to people's minds were "polygamy," "Salt Lake City," and "weird beliefs," according to a poll the PRC conducted.

"Those are clearly expressions of lack of information and lack of understanding," Russell M. Nelson, an LDS church leader, told the PRC after reporting those findings.

Young said she sometimes feels unfairly judged by people who are not Mormon. "I think anyone who can be described by a word such as Mormon or smart/dumb or rich/poor are apt to feel at some point and time in their life that they are unfairly judged whether it be through spoken words or the actions of others."

Mendenhall blames unfair judgment on "people not understanding our beliefs and being ignorant."

With automatic responses to the Mormon people such as polygamy and weird beliefs, members of this church are constantly tested in their beliefs.

While Mendenhall has never thought about leaving the church, Young admits to in hard times wanting to give up on the Mormon faith. "It is definitely not the easy way through life, when the world is telling you the opposite of what you believe, and it's not always easy to fit in."

Even though Young has full confidence in her religious choice, the question is there on how the church treats women on certain issues such as priesthood and their role in the home.

LDS women must "never openly criticize any doctrine, practice, directive or male authority," Ponder said.

"There are some things I don't understand completely and will probably never understand completely until I die, but I act on faith knowing the church is true," Young said.

Ponder is critical of the role women play in the Mormon Church because they must "be respectfully, politely, humbly and gratefully subservient to Mormon males."
Young sees her life as vastly improved since her religious conversion. "I am kinder, more patient and more understanding. I know what my purpose is here in this life."

Mendenhall states that a huge misconception about Mormon women is that they are trapped in a religion not of their choosing. She doesn't feel like she's missing out on anything and exclaims that, "I am not forced," into any decision that is not her own.

Just like other women, she chooses this because it is what she wants.